Douggie Errol was a man about his business.
He looked at himself in the wall to floor mirror that covered the left side of his bedroom in his Canary Wharf Penthouse and smiled at his image. Damn I look good he said. Some folks said that he looked like Denzel's african brother because of his pronounced features but he didn't know his origins. He knew that Baba Adigun the Area father or Baba Oni Baba (father of the fatherless) as he was called by the yoruba and Nigerian community had found him in a bin, wrapped in african loin cloth on a dark, cold, winters night coming home from work. He'd heard his cries and on closer inspection had found a baby lying in the bin strategically placed for discovery. He'd had an inkling that the mother must be yoruba or at best Nigerian because of the cloth he was swaddled in and had decided to take him home. And that as they say is where his story began. Baba Adigun or Baba Adi as they fondly called him had named him Dotun but he'd decided to change his name by depol to spite his birth mother just incase she came looking for him.
The mystery of his birth was the reason why he was a misogynist, the only semblance of love he had for womankind was what he had for his daughters and Mama Adigun the woman who had mothered him who he loved unconditionally and the nearly love he'd had with his ex wife Dazzlina who he'd stolen from his arch enemy Warren Clarke just to spite him. Stealing other men's women had become his stock in trade since he'd learnt that this would cut a man deeper than stealing his money provided it was a woman that he cared about. He'd learnt that it was all about the pride.
Douggie broke out of his reverie of his twisted nature and looked at himself again in the mirror and laughed. He'd used his wits and soo called resemblance to Denzel (which he didn't believe) to get in the game. Baba Adi had been prepared to educate him to any level but he'd only gone as far as university in International Business Relations and then proceeded to get a masters in Criminology from the streets. He'd shipped himself of to Nigeria after his degree, and had convinced his brother Big Ade; Ade Adigun to live in Lagos with him for 5 years, after setting themselves up in Eko and making their name in Naija they'd proceeded Stateside and replicated their formula.
After 25 years of hard graft Douggie's tentacles spread far and wide and his brother Big Ade Adigun was his right hand spar. Simply put, they run things, they'd succeeded in legitimising their many businesses and this was all Douggie cared about now because if anything happened to him he didn't want no dogs barking at his businesses. A dog was a dog even if was dressed in Armani and he'd had his fingers burnt in the past and wasn't about to repeat that mess. Not with his twin assets becoming young ladies; well Luma anyway, his Aurielle wasn't a lady cos she had too much of her daddy in her.
He laughed, admiring himself one last time, when he'd first made a penny he used to dress in Armani, Gucci and Hugo boss until he'd moved back to London and discovered Ozwald Boateng in Saville Row. That brother really knew how to stitch a brother up, chuckling at his own joke he picked up the phone to call his brother Ade.
Ah, Eje Mi (my blood) he said as Ade picked on the third ring. Are you ready, he asked?.
Yes oh! I dey down (I'm downstairs) Ade replied in his deep baritone, smoking Havanas a taste that he'd acquired since they'd become rich had gotten his voice deeper and raspier over the years.
Okay I'm a meet you down in a few Douggie said making his way downstairs to meet his brother.
Ah Bros see as you fine oh Ade shouted as Douggie approached his car, you turned me to your driver again tonight right!. They both fell out laughing knowing that Ade struggled with the drink driving thing.
Boy you looking take-away tonight! is that Armani? he asked eyeing Douggie's suit. No Son this is an Ozwald Boateng joint, Douggie replied smiling, Obe Toh dun Owo Lo Nkpa (Soup wey sweet, nah money kill am!) he said!. Yes Oh! Sweet Suit Ade whistled, if you weren't my brother I'd fancy you myself, you ugly moddah!, and with that they both fell out laughing. You dey craze! stupid boi, Douggie replied in his most Konk yoruba accent, with your ugly face. I'm just managing you tonight because my twin assets have abandoned me, don't worry bros I'll remind them when they start calling me Papacita, when they're fixing to ask for something!. Luma said she wanted an Evoque for their up coming birthday the other day. Oh Okay Ade said, in that case you better by Aurielle a 6 ton trailer truck with rims. They both started laughing uncontrollably. I told her sister maybe I'd have to buy her a yacht.
I planned hitting that joint with those two beauties by my side, one on each arm, but Luma blew me out for the Peeps Awards; some urban version of the pride of Britain, she's going with Baba, you know she's always on some charity bind, and heaven only knows what Aurielle's up to tonight.
Ah, best we don't know Ade snickered, locking eyes with his brother, knowing his niece was always up to something shady. They didn't call her the wrong twin for nothing!
Oh yeah! Ade replied, so that's why Babi Mi (my father) was all tuxed up when I left the house tonight. I asked where he was going and he said, I should "Hold My Side!" Ade said laughing, can you imagine? he said he had a date with a beautiful woman. I was wondered why Mama was fussing over his appearance rather than over that statement, figures now. You know Luma and Baba are two of a kind, Douggie said, and that's where she got all that good stuff from. Damn right his brother replied, because we all know she didn't get it from you, cos you're as bad as Hell! he said with the emphasis on Hell.
I can't tell Douggie replied doing a little two step shuffle in front of the car, before getting in, they both fell out laughing again. I see you practicing for tonight, you ugly moddah Ade said almost in tears at his brothers antics. Very few people got to see this side of Douggie.
Oh Boy Hold Your Side Oh! they both shouted their regular punchline at each other, locked eyes and fists as they drove off to the Mobos to kick up a storm.