Jack & Jill - Reloaded
Hey Jill wassup? Hey Jack, she responded looking him up & down, he sure had grown since the last time they'd climbed up the hill together.
Jack and Jill went up the Hill.
So Jill what wassup now? abi you're trying to ignore me?
Ah ah Jack! She responded, Wetin dey on top this hill? Why do you always like asking silly questions?
E be like say that time wey you fall affect you bad.
Ah Ah Jill what's with the 'tude girl, I'm just trying to be friendly oh!, abi you woke up on the wrong side this morning? Okay so you want to fetch water, make we dey go now.
Yes Oh Mr Jack! Naija Water board don cut our water again! so I wan fetch water! So... how far now?
Jack and Jill climb up the hill to fetch some kegs of water.
So Jill, what are you wearing now? Like how Jack, she responded with major attitude? wetin that one come mean now and how it take concern you? Mchew!!
I mean, this your Wonder Woman swagg, is this how you dress just to fetch water these days?
Jill almost fell down laughing, Ah ah Jack!, you no go ever change, abi you no know say na Naija we dey? and a Mega Babe like me gats to be on top form even if na Gala I wan buy! After all you no know who person go jam for road or gill and to answer your question I'm wearing; Peruvian/ Mongolian blended hair, Dior Addict perfume, Wonder Woman custom made jumpsuit and Victoria Secret down under on top colour blocking platform shoes! and I dey ping my fiends, you feel me!
Damn Jill, slow down Jack whistled, No be small thing Oh! you sef, person no dey play with you!
We're playing not fighting Jill responded, every time you go dey question person like say no be naija you dey! This dreads wey you carry for head no be unto swagg!? Na him now, she kissed her lips, answering her own question not giving Jack the opportunity to respond. He secretly smiled at that knowing that babes went crazy for his dreads!
Anyway Jill you can fetch first, Jack offered giving Jill the opportunity to fill her Keg first on reaching the communal pump at the top of the hill, luckily there was no one else, but she was to busy scoping the area. So Jill wetin you dey find Jack asked pretending not to know what she was looking for. Abi something don lost? You drop money abi na your earring you dey find?
Jack, I take God hand beg you, carry your wahala dey go!. I dey wait person, she responded with annoyance (God, which kind bad market be dis today with Jack now!), everytime she climbed this hill somehow, someway Jack must to dey here too! Na Wah! Eh come be like say they send am for me!
Jill come make we dey go, Jack shouted her out of her thoughts, knowing fully well what she was looking for. Jack, I know say we follow come together but as I leave my house this morning, no be you wey I carry for mind she responded.
That thing wey you dey find, dey your front, he thought. Okay, so you dey scope big boys abi? Jack asked. And so she responded. Jill soo, for your mind you feel say big boys go come fetch water here, na him you come dress like person wey wan go MTV Base awards in the hope of Lekki Big Boys Carry Waka! Chei I don Die, Jack fell out laughing! Jill was too embarrassed to respond knowing that Jack had caught her straight out!
Anyway Jack I know say you dey laugh me but how do you see yourself? well, Jill I could say I'm a big boy in some ways, but if I need water, I need water! (in fact he didn't water at all, he'd been waiting around in the hope that she'd pass by). Furthermore Jill make I advise you, those people wey you dey find, no dey come this kind place for day time. Dem dey shine for night!
Babes nothing do you, you fine die, you don't need to hang around scoping for any guys, make I help you drop your keg for crib eh!. Ah ah Jack you go fit carry 2 kegs Jill asked?, common babes look me well now, you can see say I dey capable!. Sure thing Jill thought, he was cut, but this was Naija after all and no be fine boy wey person go chop!
He did however have a fine crowing glory of dreads that she felt he wasn't about to lose anytime soon (in Naija these kind of guys were either in entertainment or wannabes), not that she was prejudiced or anything, in fact she quite liked guys with dreads, growing them required patience, an admirable trait Jack was obviously the patient type. Na Wah Oh -- This Jack of a boy don put me for mental high jump today! she thought!
Okay oh Jack, I hear you, she said following him downhill reluctantly, so caught up in her reverie that she tripped on a stub and;
Came tumbling down the hill.
Ah, Tumblina, are you OK, sorry oh Jack said, trying hard not to laugh, but laughing uncontrollably as he caught up with her downhill. So upon say I carry both our water you still manage fall down this hill.
Chei, Mega Chic PR failure he said, laughing all the way home.
Hi folks this, this is my take on the old rhyme Naija style, look out for more nursery rhymes, old stories, fables reloaded.