23 Aug 2016

How to Get Happiness 6

Now that we understand how happiness works, we can use that knowledge to be happier.

Studies have shown that the tipping point for being happy is a 3:1 ratio of positive to
negative thoughts.

That means that when you have fewer than three positive thoughts for each negative thought, nothing much will happen, but once you hit that 3:1 mark, suddenly you will start flourishing.


Notice that the tipping point is 3:1, not 3:0— we’re not trying to eliminate negativity
altogether or live in some deluded fantasy-land 21 where we pretend bad things never happen, or if they do, they don’t bother us. Bad things do happen, and of course they bother us. 

The goal isn’t to become non-human happiness robots. But if we bring in enough positivity to outweigh the negativity by 3:1, we can experience
disproportionally great benefits in our lives and start to flourish. 

These tools and techniques help us get there.

The Happiness tools will follow in upcoming texts

21 Aug 2016

How Happiness Works - How To Be Happy 5


The ability to be happy comes from the neocortex,
the higher brain that is the site of
reason, intellect, long-term memory, and the human spirit. This is the part of the brain that
has the power to override the fear centers in the brain stem and amygdala and say, “no,
calm down, everything is ok.” 

It has the keys to becoming happy.

The way we’re wired, it’s impossible to concentrate on fear and love at the same time.

They’re incompatible. 

So by using the neocortex to focus on love, we can override the fear messages of the lower brain. Specifically, by focusing on; 

Appreciation 
Generosity
Personal choice

and simply doing things that are meaningful, we can make ourselves happy.

Not a bogus facade of pretend happiness where we go around acting happy even though
we’re not, real, true happiness.

More on this tomorrow, share your thoughts, feelings and opinions.

20 Aug 2016

The Real Cause of Unhappiness - How to be Happy 4

Happiness doesn’t come from circumstances, and neither does unhappiness.

Money, possessions, fame, or power can’t make you happy, and terrible things happening
to you don’t have to make you unhappy unless you hang onto them and let them define you.

Unhappiness comes from fear. 

There are two main fears: 

the fear of not having enough, and
the fear of not being enough.

If you think about it, it makes sense. All the worries about money, job security, possessions, bigger
houses, and power come from the fear of not having enough. The worries about what other
people think, not being loved, not being able to do something well, or getting fired come from
the fear of not being enough.

But why is fear such a huge part of our lives? By world standards, we are incredibly well off,
so why are we still afraid of not having enough? And we were obviously good enough
to get as far as we are, so why are we still afraid of not being enough? 

Where does all this fear come from?

The answer is in the structure of the brain. The brain stem, which we share with lizards, is the
part with the fight/flight/freeze response. Our ancestors needed this part for the dangerous
situations they encountered before we all started building houses and living safe, cushy lives indoors. If a big, hungry animal is after you, you don’t have time to ponder, you need the fear instinct to kick in with fight, flee, or freeze, immediately! This reaction is out of place in modern life, when the most dangerous thing most of us face is probably a stapler, but we still have the brain stem looking at
everything with fear, because that’s what it’s built for.

In addition to the brain stem, we also have the amygdala,
which we share with other mammals. 

The amygdala stores all of our bad memories and looks for patterns of things to be afraid of. Again, this was handy when people needed to notice the rustle of grass that meant a tiger was stalking, but not so great in the cubicle farm, especially since the amygdala triggers the endocrine system to release stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. 
You need these hormones if you’re running from a tiger, but in modern life, they mostly just make you more likely to have a heart attack.

These two parts of the brain do the fear processing. Basically, they generate
unhappiness. Luckily, we don’t have let them rule our lives we have other brain parts that
can override them.

Otherwise we may live our lives in perpetual fear! or our you living your life in fear any way? I love this book, and I'm learning a lot about the basic principles of what shapes our happiness how about you?

19 Aug 2016

How Happiness Doesn't Work Part 2

This is a continuation of the How to Be Happy Series, if you have any thoughts, comments or opinions feel free to share.


These are all traps (the things that we belive are meant to make us happy) (if you read the previous post you'll understand what the traps are), but they’re very easy to fall into, especially with media and advertisers giving us a push every chance they get! 

In case you don’t already know, the main purpose of television, magazines, newspapers, and all popular media is to sell advertisements. That’s how they make money. They produce content to get your attention so you’ll see as many of their ads as possible.

Meanwhile, the advertisers’ goal is to get you to buy products. This is obvious enough; the
insidious part is that if you’re generally content with your life, you won’t feel compelled to buy
much. To get you to buy, advertisers intentionally do everything they can to convince you that something is missing in your life, and if you were just prettier, had whiter teeth, used a different laundry detergent, or whatever, then people would like you better.

They try to convince you that something is wrong in your life now, but if you buy their
product, it will fix it, and then you’ll be happy.

They get you coming and going: they tell you you’re inadequate and shouldn’t be happy, and
then they give you a solution that will never make you happy. The more you watch or listen, the harder it is to be happy. 

These messages make a difference, so protect yourself from them as much as you can. Use
an ad blocker on your web browser. If you listen to commercial radio, switch stations when the commercials come on. If you watch tv, at least mute the commercials, or better, watch a recording and skip past them. Better till, stop watching tv. 

Most of the shows are also designed to make you unhappy so you’ll buy more of the advertisers’ products.

If this all sounds too hard, just try it for a week and see if you feel more peaceful and content.
It’s much easier to be happy without all those negative messages.

In addition to the happiness traps of money, power, and being fake, there are a few
persistent attitudes that are huge obstacles to happiness. 

These are;

Victimization
Feelings of entitlement 
Waiting for rescue
Blaming

The common thread is staying stuck and focusing on what you can’t do, instead of
taking full responsibility and control to change your life.

The continuation of what I call The Happiness Principle will be uploaded tomorrow, comment, like share your thoughts, opinions etc. Are you Happy?

18 Aug 2016

How to Be Happy 3 - How Happiness Doesn't Work Part 1

How Happiness Doesn’t Work


People try a lot of things in attempt to become happy. Most of them don’t work, so people just try them again, harder! 

Here are a few:

Getting more money or possessions

Getting more power or status

Pursuing indulgent pleasures

Focusing on their weaknesses and trying to improve them (instead of playing to their
strengths)

Striving to be perfect (and accepting nothing less)

Trying to force happiness, using false affirmations or other tricks

We’ve all heard that money can’t buy happiness, but most people don’t really believe
it.

More money won’t make me happy—are you nuts? Come on, if I hit the lotto, I could pay off
all of my debt, quit my crappy job, do what I’ve always wanted to do, and still have plenty to give to my family and charities. 

You’re telling me that wouldn’t make me happier?

Yes. It’s surprising but true. Lots of studies have been done on this. A year after winning,
lottery jackpot winners are no happier than they were before they won. Amazingly, the
same is true for people who are in terrible accidents and suddenly paralyzed: a year later,
they’re no less happy than before.

Circumstances are not what makes us happy or unhappy. Think about it: if money was
enough to make us happy, there should be a lot of people walking around saying, “Wow,
thank God I got that last raise! Now I have enough money, and I am happy!” Yet I’ve
never heard anyone say that. Most rich people seem to be quite unhappy, in fact. If fortune or fame worked, you would never see movie stars and rock musicians with drug problems—they’d be too happy to be interested in drugs.

Similarly, possessions do not cause happiness. If they did, wouldn’t we be happy by now? I,
for one, have bought a lot of awesome things, but the only ones that have made a long-term
difference are the ones that are involved in doing something: my spinning wheel, my
kayak, my convertible. The things themselves don’t matter much, but doing fun things with
them adds joy to my life.

Another thing that won’t make you happy is whitewashing over reality and feeding yourself a lot of bogus affirmations that you know aren’t true. Any philosophy that requires you
to deny reality is a false path. In fact, studies have shown that insincerity is every bit as bad
for your heart as anger.

Your body feels the tension between the truth and the way you’re acting, and finds it very destructive. It’s important to look for the good in a situation, but it’s even more important to be real.

More thought provoking concepts. 

The continuation of How Happiness Doesn't work will be uploaded tomorrow, share your thoughts.

17 Aug 2016

How to be Happy 2 - Fear is the Enemy of Happiness!

As promised here is the second part of the How to be Happy excerpt for Cara Stein's book; for those that are struggling with the concept of being happy, depression or feeling that your happiness is tied to someone, material wants or tangible things. 

Happiness Lies Within My Friends! 
Read what Cara has to say below. 
Here's to finding Happiness Within, Learning How to be Happy or at the very Least Faking it til we Make It!


How Happiness Works

Few people are happy. 
Most of the people I know are neutral or unhappy, and most of the
people I meet sure don’t look happy! Happy people really stand out, partly because they’re
so rare. Since hardly anybody does it, it’s easy to assume that being happy is complicated, or
there’s some secret you have to know, or maybe you have to be born with a certain
gene. 

While people are born with an innate level of happiness or happiness set point, and
circumstances also influence how happy you are, you still have the power to make yourself
happier. Surprisingly, 50% of our happiness levels come from genetics, and only 10% from
circumstances, leaving 40% that we can control.

Why are so many people unhappy? It’s actually pretty simple. The thing that keeps most
people from being happy is fear.

Think about it for a minute. Look over your life and what feels bad in it.
Do you get the blues every Sunday night? because you’ll have to go to work Monday
morning? 

That’s probably because you’re afraid you’ll have to do a lot of stuff you don’t like, or
a lot of stuff you’re afraid you can’t do, or both. 

Maybe there are also unpleasant people at work and you’re afraid you’ll have a run-in
with them.

When you sit down to do the bills, do you get a heavy knot of dread in the pit of your
stomach? Chances are, you’re afraid you don’t have enough money to pay for everything.

When someone cuts you off in traffic, do you blow your top? Well, who wouldn’t—they could
have killed someone! 

That’s fear, too—you’re angry because they put you in danger.

Most unpleasant feelings boil down to fear. If  you’re stressed about work or money, your relationships, what people think of you, or all the things you have to do, it all comes down to fear. 

This is important: fear is the enemy of happiness!

This is profound, more tomorrow!

16 Aug 2016

How to be Happy

I call This Study The Happiness Principle, This is written by Cara Stein, If you're interested in being truly happy read on.



The short answer is: 

I’m someone who has learned to be happy. I don’t have a whole raft of patients, research, or case studies. I’m not a psychologist. I just have the results of one experiment. I was a very unhappy person, miserable most of the time and scared a lot, too. I felt trapped, suffocated, selfish, mean, inadequate, listless, exhausted, unable to cope, and perpetually on the verge of blowing up or freaking out. With the help of people and books, I learned a lot of things that helped me become happy and enjoy my life. I want to pass what I’ve learned on to you. 

Just reading is not enough to make you happy

You have to take action and change your life

but I’ve found that understanding how it all works helps a lot in trying to do better and feel better. Whether you feel trapped and miserable, or your life is basically ok but you’d like to enjoy it more, 

I think this knowledge is valuable, and I hope it will help you improve your life.

Is it really ok to be happy? If this seems like a silly question, you’re ahead of the game, because a lot of people think happiness is a sign of foolishness, laziness, or selfishness. 

Here are some misconceptions that I’ve heard: 

❧ Happiness is just plastering over reality with smiley faces and deluding yourself into believing everything is ok. 

You waste time and energy telling yourself stupid, untrue affirmations and believing in nonsense. 

I’ll take truth over happiness, thank you

❧ Happy people are gullible suckers who just haven’t grown up yet. 
❧ Good people work hard—they don’t have time to be happy.
❧ We’re not meant to be happy in this life. 

The more we suffer and struggle here, the more we’ll be rewarded in heaven.

In short, a lot of people believe that if you’re happy, you’re doing it wrong. They’re afraid of happiness because they think it means losing touch with reality, or being foolish, lazy, selfish, or bad. But that’s not how true happiness is. It doesn’t come from pretending. It doesn’t come from making a lot of money, being powerful, owning a lot of things, or sitting on the beach all day eating bonbons, either. 

Real happiness is: 

❧Love 
❧Optimism 
❧Courage 
❧Freedom 
❧Proactivity 
❧Security 
❧Health 
❧Spirituality 
❧Altruism 
❧Perspective 
❧Humor 
❧Purpose

These are true virtues. I don’t know any God or man who looks down on these qualities, and they are the keys to enjoying life. They can be yours—that’s what this book is about. 

I will be posting daily updates of what I call the happiness principle, if you're interested check in for more.